Fuck you, Apple.

So, Apple's just told the world about the new MacBook Air, AKA the tiniest fucking laptop ever. It's still got a 13.3 inch screen, but it's thin enough to fit in one of those inter-departmental envelopes.



Seriously. How fucking awesome is that? It's a fraction of the size of most of my textbooks! It's all tapered and rounded and pretty!

Gee, I wonder how they fit everything in there?

Oh! They've made everything on the inside smaller-- ports, battery, all the little things that I can't tell apart. That's so awesome! I think something's missing, though... something that I use all the time on my computer... I wonder what it is...

Oh. Right. An optical drive.

There is nowhere on this beautiful little laptop to insert a CD or a DVD. It's not that it requires you to buy special software on special (tiny little) CDs-- it's that you can't use ANY discs. At all. This might well be the stupidest move ever made in the history of technology.

I mean, I'm a self-proclaimed Mac whore. I've used the computers all of my life, I nearly passed out when the iPod was introduced, and I would probably fellate a geoduck if it would buy me an iPhone. This no-optical-drive debacle is awful-- it's like Apple and I were having sex, and it was going great, and then Apple came, rolled over, and went to sleep, leaving me shocked and unsatisfied.

So, fuck you, Apple. Fuck you and your stupid MacBook Air, and fuck you for reminding me how awful my ex boyfriend was in bed.